SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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