the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
