just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
