i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
