so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
