People with herpes should wear stickers.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Two words: nipple clamps
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