i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
