So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
