This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
