I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Help. Why am I so naked?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
