try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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