it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
