my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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