We won't sleep together?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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