he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
When are your genitals available?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
