guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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