I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
