we made out on top of his cat.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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