I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
