They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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