Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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