we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
