sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
