he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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