so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
