D3 body, D1 cock
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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