Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
