time to smoke my breakfast
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize