i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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