Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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