dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
