I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
