quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
