You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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