Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
