I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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