Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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