I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
