how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
