When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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