I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
