i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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