So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
