I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
