from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
