I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
