I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
