new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
