Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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