what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
try to milk me bitch
Randomize