I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
