I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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