Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
