I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize