why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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