fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
