she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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