im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
