I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
