I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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