i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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