What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
