Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
