Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
