I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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